Confessions from Boystown: labels

In 2 days, my oldest will no longer be in elementary school.

*shudder*

For some reason, some twit thought it would be funny to have Jr. High start (in our district) in 6th grade.

As if kids don't grow up fast enough, let's throw an 11 year old into Jr. High. I know its just a label, but I look at it this way: in elementary school, they're learning the basics to proceed. In Jr. High, they're getting them ready for high school and higher education.

My son thinks its hilarious to listen to someone spell 'icup'- you're telling me HE is ready to be prepped for higher learning??

I'm already having a hard time explaining to him that he's too young for girlfriends- whats going to happen when he's trying to fit in with older kids at this new school? Everyone worries about their daughters and them growing up too fast; no one stops to think about how fast boys grow up. A girl can only carry so many babies at once- boys can impregnate multiple girls.

I try to remind myself that all we've taught them will stick and they'll emerge unscathed, but I've tried repeatedly to teach them that poop jokes aren't to be told at the dinner table, and all I ever hear is "I forgot." How much of what we teach will stick in the times we need it to? How much of what we teach will be "forgotten" when faced with the opportunity to be "cool"?

As a parent, we want our kids to grow wings- to grow up, experience new things, and -God willing- move out before our sanity completely dissolves. Its just kind of scary to watch it happen.

I'm not suggesting lead shoes to keep him grounded... maybe just a kite string for if he flies to far out of reach, ya know?

I do my best thinking in the shower.

Now, I'm sure there are many medical reasons why this is possible- maybe the warm water increases circulation or the water pressure from the shower head helps knead out the stress from my shoulders, which lowers my blood pressure and THAT helps with better circulation.

I personally think, though that it has nothing to do with medical reasons and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that its the ONE place in this house where I can hear myself think without fear of interruption. With the water raining down on me, it drowns out the incessant pestering. For the 5 minutes I get to take for myself, I get a chance to recoop and relax.

Yes, 5 minutes. I learned long ago how to take "Army showers". 5 minutes is the perfect amount of time to get the necessary stuff done while ensuring I'm not gone long enough for fires, explosions, or massive bodily harm to occur with the boys.

It IS long enough, however, to get some serious thinking done, and today I was thinking about my life.

Its amazing to me how we measure ourselves by what we are rather than who we are as individuals. People in our lives- not our personalities- usually define us. I get it- its difficult to really find a distinction

I have kids- I'm a mom.
I have a husband- I'm a wife

We even measure ourselves by what and who we are NOT. In my case, I'm not a career driven woman- I'm a stay at home mom. I'm not like my brother and sister, with their medical field goals- I'm...

What? Lacking a true career path? Lazy? Without ambition? Settling? Ordinary?

During those precious 5 minutes, I thought about who I really was- not according to others or labels thrust upon me- but ME. What makes me, me?

I'm outgoing.
I'm sarcastic.
I'm a wanna-be chef.
I'm goofy.
I'm friendly.
I'm a neat freak.
I'm determined.
I'm sensitive.

Its true- I'm also ordinary. My job is SO ordinary and boring that -not only do I NOT get paid for it- but most people don't even want to waste time writing it out, so they write SAHM. Its not considered a career choice; its an in-between- something you do when you're in between jobs.

I'm called a "housewife" which -horror of horrors- evokes images of Peggy Bundy, sitting on a couch, eating Bon Bons. Even worse, that's what MANY people imagine when I tell them what I do for a living. I'm curious about the title "housewife", by the way. No one ever refers to a woman as a "workwife". Its funny- even as I'm writing this, my computer recognizes "housewife" as a real word and there's a red squiggly line under "workwife".

I'm asked frequently when I'm planning on "going back to work", as if I'm on vacation. If this is vacation, I've been gypped.

I'm just sayin'.

I'm also told constantly about work at home opportunities- because I'm OBVIOUSLY not busy throughout the day. I get it, times are hard and they know I'm not getting paid for what I do, but when I WAS working, we managed to still have money troubles, so what it looks like to me is that #1- you always find a way to do what you REALLY want to do, #2- a lot of money does NOT equal financial security, and #3- God apparently thinks pretty highly of our decision to have me stay at home because He always makes a way for us to get by.

Its true- I'm an ordinary, SAHM and housewife. Just so we're clear on what my "non-job" entails, though: