Saturday, July 30, 2011

The Butterfly Award

In lieu of my normal Saturday Shout-Out, I wanted to post this.

I'm grinning from ear to ear right now because the fabulous and awesome Miss Skinny Bean nominated me for
You should check her out- really.  Now for the rules for this wonderful award:

The Rules:

Link to the person who awarded it to you.
Share 7 things about yourself.
Answer the questions below.
Award it to 15 other bloggers.

Since I already linked to her, let's talk about me!

1.  My first car was a Buick Park Avenue that needed brake fluid EVERY time I got in it.  The one time I forgot was the one time I had to pull the E brake when the traffic suddenly stopped.
2.  My favorite ice cream is Stater Bros. Rocky Road.  Not Ben & Jerry's.  Not Breyers- Stater Bros.  And, no, I can't tell you why.
3.  Before I got pregnant with Camo, I had bought a pair of Doc Marten's.  After I gave birth, they no longer fit.
4.  I frequently quote lines from the movie 'Labrinth'.  If you've never seen it, I give you permission to get up now to rent it.  You can resume this entry later after you're more cool.
5.  I went fishing once and caught a weird fish called a sculpin.  I named it Sculpy and put it in my fish tank.
6.  I have a crush on Dan Haren, pitcher for the Angels.  Yes, I know that he's married- I am too.  I never said I wanted to have a long lasting relationship with him- I just think he's pretty to look at.
7.  I'm averaging roughly 4-5 hours of sleep a night lately (thank you, Mini-Master).  At this rate, I'll go crazy from sleep deprivation LONG before I go senile.

Questions, questions, questions...

Favorite Color:  Pink
Favorite Song:  It depends on my mood- sometimes I'm in a Shakira kind of mood, sometimes its a Phil Collins kind of mood.  Sometimes I just want a little bit of Hawk Nelson, and sometimes I just put my phone's play list on shuffle.
Favorite Dessert: Cheesecake... hands down.  I have an amazing recipe for it, too.  Maybe I'll share one day.
What Wizzes You Off: Have you ever driven on the 91 freeway?  Yeah- enough said.
When you're upset you:  bake, clean, cook, write about it...
Favorite Pet (Black/White):  Is orange closer to black or white?
Biggest Fear:  That my kids will never move out- I'm kidding!  My biggest fear is actually losing my kids.  I'm sure you've done this, but I'll sneak in their room at night and just listen to them breathe.
Best Feature: My eyes
Everyday attitude:  I'm thankful- everyday.  Always. 
What is perfection?:  God.  Other than that, an entire day with my guys.
Guilty pleasure:  Home made baked goods.  I'll tell you now, I've been REALLY indulging in guilt lately.

15 "cool" blogs I'm awarding this "cool" award to:
4.  Callie @ Notes from Naptime
9.  Nikki @ Chef in Training
11.  Tracy @ I'm just a Girl
12.  Angela @ Mommy Time Out
15.  Eliza @ BabyBound

Ok, now enough about me.  Go check out these great bloggers and I'll talk to you in a bit.

Friday's Writing Prompt: Leaving Never, Never Land

Mama’s Losin’ It
Mama's Losing It: 1.) A moment you realized your child was growing up.

All of us have a point at which we truly grow up- or, at least, I'd like to think everyone does. There are a few boys I knew in high school that I would question that, but, for the most part, we all grow up.

As a parent, I'm starting to realize that I go back and forth between wanting my kids to grow up and wanting them to remain babies forever:

~when Camo gives me a hug out of nowhere- aw, stay a baby!

~when Camo annoys me to no end- please, grow up and move out already!

~when Jacob snuggles up to me- stay my baby forever

~when Jacob starts a fight with his brother and tries to PLAY the baby card- grow up.

~when Nicholas is sleeping- my sweet, little baby boy... stay this way forever.

~when Nicholas is up and making me hold him while he cries non-stop- yeah, you can grow up already.

I've noticed that a lot of people have a habit of correcting the things that little kids do- their quirks that make them kids. Things like pronouncing things wrong and EMBELLISHING the truth (yes, its a fancy way of saying 'lying'), seem to get under their skin- like a kid is going to go off to college pronouncing double L's with a 'y' sound. To my knowledge, most kids that have made it that far, have acquired the necessary skills and abilities to carry on a proper conversation with other adults, never once referring to their brother as 'budda'.

I can't tell you the EXACT day that I realized my oldest baby was no longer a baby, but I'm sure it started small; too small for me to really have noticed. Maybe it was after he had been chastised (not by me, mind you) for telling people that he had seen a bear on a walk he had taken. Maybe it was the 100th time he was told that "we call it a GLOVE not a GLUB". Maybe it was the day that a friend in school had convinced him that Santa wasn't real. I'm really not sure, which is sad, because he was my very first baby- my guinea pig for parenting- and, as good as I was at keeping track of things in his baby book, you just don't write down the day your son grew up and began to understand that cooties aren't real and liking a girl wasn't icky. You don't keep track of their choices of shoe brands right there along with when they said their first word.

But, what I DO know is what I know NOW, and that's that it doesn't matter if my middle son believes in the tooth fairy or that "No, mom, this is REALLY how it happened". I mean, fishermen tell tall tales everyday and no one reprimands them.

Because, one day, when I'm not keeping track, my babies are going to be all grown up; and they won't be referring to binoculars as "big knockers" and they won't write letters to Santa- they'll just tell me. One day, I'll look, and they'll have babies of their own and be trying desperately to keep track of all the important times, never understanding that EVERY day is important. And they'll be trying to figure out when it is that THEIR babies just suddenly weren't anymore, but they won't be able to recall that ONE moment, either.

But, until that day, when they're treading the same waters I have, I'm going to keep them close. And, while I might not be able to pinpoint the precise moment at which my babies went from "too cute" to "cool dude", I know its happening. I have more than enough photos to prove it.

Thankful Thursday Blog Hop #4


To recap the rules for Thankful Thursdays, here ya go:

1. Don't follow me unless you really want to. I don't want this to be purely about getting new followers- I'd really like to see people flooding the internet with "Thankful" posts. If you'd like me to follow YOU, though, let me know.

2. Please post the button somewhere in your entry- beginning, end- doesn't matter. Not only will it help to grow the hop, but I'll be keeping a running PUBLIC list of those that are participating. Also, I'm planning on using new co-hosts for the hop in the future, and to be considered, you must have the button up. If you post the button and would like to be considered for co-host duty, send me an email @

3. You can link up blogs, facebook and twitter accounts - just be sure to specify what each link is.

4. Hop around and find blogs that you enjoy. Be sure to tell them you are following them from Thankful Thursdays Blog Hop so they can follow you back!

And #5, and most importantly, HAVE FUN.

I'm going to have to start referring to this as Thankful Friday with how late I seem to be getting my posts up. It never seems to fail that I sit down at the computer after a long day of taking care of Baby Monkey Boy, than something else pops up for me to take care of. I'll never complain, though...

...ok, I won't complain A LOT.

I won't complain a LOT because I'm doing what I love.

Well, ONE of the things that I love. Taking care of these animals is right up there for me along with baking, cooking, and breathing.

I had always wanted to be a mom, and being a stay at home mom was a dream- not because I'm lazy (F.Y.I. if you're one of those 'uninformed' individuals, go read my post HERE), but because I was afraid. There were stories all over the place about bad day cares and bad home day cares, bad nannies, bad, bad, bad. There still are,actually. I hadn't been able to be a stay at home mom with Camo, but I was determined to do it with Jacob. Luckily for me, my amazing hubby felt the same way.

We knew it wasn't going to be easy- mentally or financially. The funny thing is, though, when you REALLY want something in this life, you usually find a way to get it. When you're strapped for cash but you know your electric bill is due, you find a way to pay it... if you aren't fond of camping. We wanted to know who was raising our kids and what kind of values they were being raised with, so regardless of what else it cost us, we made the necessary sacrifices to do it.

I know that there are lots of people out there that feel the same way I do, but they aren't able to find a way to make it work, so that's why I'm thankful. Whether its because all the stars aligned JUST SO and that's why we found a way (doubt it) or because God just really thinks that this is what my family needs for our boys right now (more like it), I get to do something that has a special purpose in this life.

How many other people can say that?

And, while there are more than a few days that leave me breathless in a bad way, there are also days that leave me breathless in a good way too.

So, today I'm thankful.

For an amazing hubby that felt the way I did enough to let me do this.

For 3 amazing kids that look to ME to take care of them every day.

And for all those breathless moments that make being a stay at home mom worth it.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

This is a little late, but I like to think of it more as just making an entrance.


Sunday, July 24, 2011

Waiting on Perfection

"He that has began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6
Ever seen those cars with the sign 'Student Driver'?  Most of us have.  I don't know about you, but I usually try to avoid them.  Whoever is in the driver seat, more often than not, has the timid behavior of a field mouse and drives slower than molasses.  I know that, if I'm behind them, I'll either be late to where I'm headed or end up rear-ending them when they slam on their brakes due to a low-flying bird... or what they THOUGHT was a low-flying bird.

I know its stereotyping and kind of mean, but we've all been in that seat, so you know I'm right.  In the beginning, none of us were the *ahem* EXCELLENT drivers we are now.  It took practice, persistence, prayer, and patience on the part of our teachers to get us through those tremulous first months.

Actually, if you've ever driven in SoCal, you'd think that none of the drivers on the road had graduated from those first months.  But, I digress.

Have you ever known an actual artist?  Most of us have gone to museums, but what you're seeing when you look at those masterpieces is the finished product.  You don't see the practice sketches, the thought process, the doodles, or the pieces that didn't make it.  You don't see the ones the masters even thought weren't half bad, because in their eyes, if it wasn't perfection, it just wasn't.

Nope.  The only thing you're seeing is the shiny, sparkly 1% inspiration that came after that 99% perspiration.  I have a small idea, because my brother in law is an artist.  I've seen some of his stuff from high school and I've even seen one or two of his childhood drawings.  In my opinion -no matter how good I think they are- they aren't nearly as good as what he's doing now.  And the thing is, even when he's doing a piece now, there's a thought process and hours of work (most of the time) to get it to the point to where he's happy.  When you see one of his pieces in the beginning, you have no clue what it will look like, but he knows- or, at least, he has a MUCH better idea than you or I.

And -not to be conceited by lumping myself in with artists, but- when I write, its a process: words crossed out, rewritten, crossed out again; statements written and rewritten; statements said out loud to see how they sound; and -more often than not- everything is a first draft in a lined notebook before typed up.  All of this done so that, when I look at the final product, I'm happy.

Just like any other piece of artwork, we're a process.

I try to remind myself of that fact every time I screw up- with my kids, with my husband, friends... Sometimes I'd just like a shirt that says "Work in Progress- please be patient".  I feel that it would make life a whole lot easier.

Its all too easy to get frustrated with myself when I mess up, but I'm just thankful that this isn't the final product.  I'm not the 'Mona Lisa' yet.  I'm still a sketch- a doodle.  And thank God for that because there are times when I don't just feel like a doodle; I feel like a doodle that wasn't even worthy enough to remain in the sketch pad, so it was torn out, crumbled up, and thrown away.

So, I'll patiently wait til I'm perfected.  While I'm waiting, however, I think I'll buy that shirt.

If you liked the post, then PLEASE post the button!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Saturday Shout-Out: Budgeting During College

I wanted to use my Saturday posts to highlight some great bloggers out there. This week's feature blogger is wonderful and I hope you love her as much as I do. If you'd like me to highlight you, just send me an email at
Saturday Shout-Out!

~Name: Marlee

~Blog: Budgeting During College

~Type of blog: Food and Travel, and Life in general

~A little about myself...I'm a grad student studying to become a nutritional counselor and specialize in helping people with food addiction and overeating disorders. I am living on an EXTREMELY tight budget, but refuse to sacrifice life experiences because of it. So in that case, I'm learning how to live the life I want with the means I don't have!

~1 wish: There would be no more lost or neglected pets. I'm a sucker for a stray, and I have a HUGE vet bill because of it!

~Favorite thing about where I live: The outdoors and the people. I live in Billings, MT. The people in the entire state of Montana are generally incredibly nice and friendly. There's just something about that farm/ranch mentality that everyone will drop everything to help you if you need it. People are so giving and selfless here.

~#1 on bucket list: Use my passport, which I am this summer and you can vote to which country I'll be going to on my Stupid and Crazy blog post here :

~3 words to describe you: You Never Know!

~1 little known fact about you: I hate being in one place! After a few days I want to go somewhere else! I'd be up for hitch-hiking across the country if it wasn't for that whole "getting picked up by a serial killer" thing...

~1 vice of yours: any kind of dough or batter. And I mean ANY. Pancake batter tastes delicious to me for some reason!

~Why did you start blogging?: I was bored! I had 3 weeks off of school and didn't know what to do with myself with no papers to write or homework to do!

~Favorite thing about blogging: The support. I posted this post, explaining my proudest moment ( and so many people wrote in with kind words. That's something difficult to share, and it made me feel so much better to know I had a little online support group :).

~What do you think makes a successful blog?: Being true to yourself. Write what comes from the heart. Forget about if it's grammatically correct of if you think other people with be interested in it or not. The blogs I find the most interesting are the ones where people write exactly how they talk, because then it feels like I'm having a conversation with them instead of reading something I've heard a thousand times. You are unique, so let that come across in your writing!

~3 words to describe my blog: Sporadic, Relatable, and Funny

~What's 1 blog (besides yours) that you think everyone should check out?  I would say the blog I kill the most time at is How To Accessorice With Tiny Birds ( It makes me laugh every time, I just think it's brilliant!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Friday's Writing Prompt: Simply Beautiful

Mama’s Losin’ It
Mama's Losing It: Write about the simple things.

Life is a funny thing.

We work our butts off- day in, day out- so we can -not just LIVE- but live WELL. For some reason, someone put the statement out there that life isn't worth living unless you have it all while doing it all.

People watch their marriages crumble because they're so busy keeping up with the Jones' that they neglect their own home. Our kids get into trouble because they're hoping for any kind of attention, but that's ok, because they're wearing those sneakers that the Jones kid wears that they just HAD to have.

*stepping down off my soapbox*

I live in Southern California (some of the only really personal info I'll put out there), and in a place where EVERYthing is only an hour away, my favorite times I've had have been spent with my family just a few miles away: on hikes, traveling down mine and my husband's 'Memory Lane'; sitting in our local mall, people watching; our Date Night's in when we've played games together...

Sure, if we had more money, things would be easier and we'd probably make memories at Disneyland and what not, but the thing about lacking a huge bank roll, is you have to get creative.

Think about it- when you were younger, you didn't have access to money, so what did you make your parents for birthdays and holidays? Macaroni structures, coupon books, pictures on construction paper...

My mom accidentally sliced her finger when I was younger and needed stitches. The only thing I knew I could do to help her feel better was make her a picture. Now, I'm sure she might have one or two cards saved from over the years, but I know for a fact that picture I drew to help her feel better is in one of her photo albums. Its nothing fancy- far less superior to anything I could do today- but to my mom, it was worthy enough to be put into her album of things to remember.

When I was younger, we took yearly trips to an amusement park near us (good 'ol So Cal), and while I can kind of remember little details from a couple of the trips, none of them compare to the week long camping trip my dad took us on where we visited a few different states or the nights my dad would sit reading to us from the Chronicles of Narnia series.

Trips to my Grammie's house are mainly remembered for the trips to the water tower, the walks to 7-11 with my cousins to buy Garbage Pail Kids, the walks to the park, and lying on the trampoline, looking at the stars.

When my kids are grown, I'm hoping that they'll treasure the simple things like I do. Sure, I hope they make a LOT more money and can afford more, but I hope that when they look back, their favorite times are things like our family reunions, playing catch with their dad, helping me in the kitchen, and going fishing with their grampa. I hope that even though they own many nice things, the things they cherish the most will be the things money can't buy.

Because, in the end, you'll come home from that trip, those "things" will get old, broken, or go out of style, but the simple things- those are the things you take the most care of and put in a place where they'll never be destroyed...

your heart.

Thankful Thursday Blog Hop #3: My husband


To recap the rules for Thankful Thursdays, here ya go:

1. Don't follow me unless you really want to. I don't want this to be purely about getting new followers- I'd really like to see people flooding the internet with "Thankful" posts. If you'd like me to follow YOU, though, let me know.

2. Please post the button somewhere in your entry- beginning, end- doesn't matter. Not only will it help to grow the hop, but I'll be keeping a running PUBLIC list of those that are participating. Also, I'm planning on using new co-hosts for the hop in the future, and to be considered, you must have the button up. If you post the button and would like to be considered for co-host duty, send me an email @

3. You can link up blogs, facebook and twitter accounts - just be sure to specify what each link is.

4. Hop around and find blogs that you enjoy. Be sure to tell them you are following them from Thankful Thursdays Blog Hop so they can follow you back!

And #5 and most importantly, HAVE FUN.

Ok, so its better late than never. I meant to get this up earlier- I guess that would be yesterday, now, but- wouldn't ya know it?- LIFE got in the way. Go figure. I've tried telling it that I need some "Me" time, but so far, no dice.

That's ok, though. I'm fine with not having posted this on time, because it gave me one more example to use in this post. What am I thankful for this Thursday? My husband.

I know, its corny, sappy, and oh-so-standard the reply... or is it? I mean, I know that most wives ARE thankful for their husbands (or, I HOPE they are), but how many actually blurt it out just for the sake of having it out there? Lots of us will tell a person to their face how thankful we are for them (or, once again, I would hope so), but how many of us brag on those we love to other people? I think the BEST time to brag on someone is when it truly IS bragging- when there's not a huge chance that person will actually find out what you said, but you just feel the need to put it out there into the ether that the person you love is pretty fantastic. After all, your actions should leave the person you love KNOWING what you think of them already, right?

With that being said- and with no expectancy of receiving return praise- my husband is this week's topic for thankfulness.

My husband is the most amazing man I've ever known. I joke, but after 14 years, he still puts up with me- that alone should earn him a place in Heaven. He works 7 days a week so that I can stay home with the kids- not because he LOVES to do it and not just because day care is expensive; he says its because he thinks its best for our kids. When I start to feel bad about our finances and tell him we'd be better off if I got a job, he tells me that he couldn't do what he does without me doing what I do.

My best friend and I have a standing date once a week to hang out and relax- sans kids- and never -not ONCE- has he ever given me a hard time about it. He works constantly, never gets a break, and then he relieves me of the boys and tells me to go have fun. Once a month, I have a Mom's Night with some of the girls from my moms group- same thing. He'll tell me to have a good time as the boys are wrestling in the background, ready to attack once the door closes. While there is every chance in the world that my husband is a glutton for punishment,...

Nope, that's a VERY big chance, but no matter. He knows what he's getting himself into, and the fact that he keeps doing it, week after week,...

Well, now- that's the definition of insanity, now- isn't it? Maybe that's his secret. He's an insane glutton for punishment. :-D

My husband is the type of guy that everyone loves. You can't meet him and ever actually say you don't like him. Its just not possible. He's a truly NICE guy. He's hardworking, funny, trustworthy...

He's my very best friend.

We went and saw Bill Cosby perform (a present from my wonderful hubby), and Bill made a remark in his performance that husbands and wives can't be friends, and maybe that's true to a degree, but I think that in order to have a REAL relationship with your spouse, there needs to be some sort of friendship there. You need to not just LOVE the person your with, but LIKE them, too.

I genuinely LIKE my husband. He's a fun guy to hang out with.

And, yeah- we're one of those sappy couples with tons of inside jokes- that can see black ants and start laughing-

don't ask

-but what do you expect? We've been together for 14 years. We were high school sweethearts. If he can put up with 17 year old me, well, I'm pretty sure he can deal with ME from here on out.

The great thing about him, though, is he doesn't just "put up" with me. He does a million little things that let me know that he LIKES ME, too- taking care of the kids so I can go out is just one of many. He comes home from work and will take the crying baby from me before my head explodes; he buys me my favorite candy just because; he leaves me notes; sends me texts; gets gas in the car after a long shift because he knows the car needs it and he doesn't want me to have to do it the next day; makes me coffee- need I say more?

And if this post is making you gag, then I'm going to tell you what I tell my kids- get a straw, suck it up, and deal with it. After all, YOU'RE the one who keeps reading. Masochistic, much?

So, this week- and every week, honestly- I'm thankful for my hunny. Without him, I couldn't really be me.

So, yes- you can blame him for who I am.

What are YOU thankful for?

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Be quiet and stop moving already!

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

 A long time ago, I saw a shirt that said,"My parents couldn't wait for me to walk and talk- now all I hear is sit down and shut up."  I'm pretty sure God feels that way about me.

Anyone who knows me- I mean, REALLY knows me- knows that I'm always on the move.  And talking.  constantly talking.


I always have somewhere I'm going, someplace I need to be, something I need/ want to be doing, someone to talk to about something SUPER important...

2 of my boys start school in August- one in Jr. High (man, that statement makes me feel OLD) and one in kindergarten- and I'm already making plans to be the Box Tops coordinator and class mom for the kindergartener.

Did I mention I'm the organizer for my mom's group, run this blog and am Boystown co-manager extraordinaire?

One might think my philosophy almost seems like its,"I want to be wherever I'm not right now."

I say all of this to try and get through to you that I'm not the type of person to sit around; to be quiet; to be still and do nothing.

When there's something to be done, I do it; when there's a problem, I want an answer right away.  If I can't get it done or don't FIND an answer, it bugs me.

I'm a doer, and a doer without something to do feels useless.

So, when something is going on in my life- a crisis, if you will- well, let's be honest now, shall we?  The first thing I usually do is try to see how I- the almighty, powerful, super heroic SortaSuperMom- can come to my own rescue.

And sometimes it works, and I'll walk away, patting myself on the back, saying,"Well, its a good thing you figured out how to make the impossible, possible."

And then there are those times that all my might and mastery doesn't work.  That's when I find myself saying,"Ok, God- I guess we'll give you a try.  You're up to bat- let's see what you can do.  This is a hard one, though- I wasn't able to figure it out."

I can almost imagine God laughing at me.

And then I wait.  And I wait.  And I wait.

And its funny, because me -with my all-important time table- I can't seem to figure out why its taking God so long to answer my prayer.  I mean, its GOD; if ANYone could snap their fingers and *poof* its done, it should be him, right?

I'm telling God to jump and He's saying,"Wait- watch this.  You want this one tiny thing, but if you'll just chill out for a moment- kick back; relax; take your shoes off and hang out for a while- you'll see what I can really do.  Stop moving around and trying to fix everything; stop trying to be everything to everyone and just sit.  Be still, because what I have planned is so much better and what I can teach you will far surpass what you're asking for.  And if I give you JUST what you're asking for, then I know you'll be happy; and if I give you MORE, you'll be ecstatic; but you need to know that if I don't give you what you want, it will still be ok, because I'm God, and in the end, I know what you really need more than you do."

It reminds me of that part in the Bible where Jesus was visiting Mary and Martha, and Martha was running around like a chicken with her head cut off and getting upset because Mary was sitting at Jesus' feet.

So, tonight, now that I've gotten the kids in bed and I've taken off the mommy hat- ok, I've stuffed it in my pocket- I'm going to attempt this whole 'being still' thing.  I'm going to be a "Mary" after being a "Martha" all day.

Good night!

If you liked the post, then please post the button!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Saturday Shout-Out: Building A New Hive

I wanted to use my Saturday posts to highlight some great bloggers out there. This week's featured blogger is wonderful and I hope you love her as much as I do. If you'd like me to highlight you, just send me an email at
Saturday Shout-Out!

~Your name: Cristal Alvey

~Your blog's name w/ link: Building A New Hive

~Type of blog it is:  Mommy Blogs/Life in General

~Tell us a little something about yourself: I am a lover of Jesus, chocolate, and everything pink! I am a wife of a Teacher and a mommy of a baby bee <3 I am 99.9% of the time excited about something and I may be considered LOUD by everyone … people who don’t know me … ha!

~If you had only 1 wish, what would it be and why? For all of my family (Gma Gpa Cousins Aunts and Uncles) to live in the same place again. Its been hard not having all of my family close, I miss when we used to spend Christmas together and other holidays , cook outs, Mom/Father Days.... ALL OF THE ABOVE! My parents live here and so does my sister but I think if you asked them the same thing they would answer the same way... :)

What is your favorite thing about where you live and why? There is a pizza place on every corner…. Why? Ummm… do I need to answer that! Ha!

~What's #1 on your 'Bucket List'? To take my daughter to Disney

~3 words to describe yourself would be...? Fun, Energetic, Anxious

~1 little known fact about you is...? At age 23 after 1 baby I had a BTL (tubes tied)

~1 vice of yours is...? it used to be drinking Dr Pepper, I know they kill ya but I loved them! (Getting better at that one now Ha!) 

~Why did you start blogging? To keep my long distance family in the loop

~What's your favorite thing about blogging? All of the people you “meet” and the people you help without knowing your helping

~What do you think makes for a successful blog? If your life is interesting to someone else and/or HONESTY .... I poured my heart out about some mom issues and had 4 people who I had NO IDEA read my blog, email me and ask questions and encourage me. I also wrote a post about how my marriage was falling apart, and how the Lord saved it (more than one post) and 15 people commented or emailed me a private message about how they are going through the same thing. TO ME.... That is a success. If people want a story they go to the library but people want REAL life... REAL fights with your hubby, REAL struggles, REAL happiness they want to know that this person they read about everyday if just as REAL as they are!

~3 words to describe your blog would be...? Honest, Fun, OverShare (at some times)

~What's 1 blog (besides yours) that you think everyone should check out? My good friend Savannah .. She is so creative and fun and has a ton of good ideas and things to talk about on her blog, she is the total package of blogging.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Friday's Writing Prompt: Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

I'm only one woman with only one brain- and, to be honest, most of those brain cells have given up the ghost due to what can be medically described as 'Boyus energyium brainius strainium'. Therefore, it should go without saying that -from time to time- I need a little help in the "post" department. I mean, it happens to the best of us, right?

I decided to make Friday 'Writing prompt Day'. I found a great blogger through ANOTHER blogger I follow, and she does weekly writing prompts. Since nap times leave me with nothing to really do, and there are many (since the Mini-master is nocturnal), I am frequently bored. You can only clean so much, and our DVR only holds so much.

Mama’s Losin’ It

Mama's Losing It: On a piece of paper write down something that makes you happy…take a photo of your paper and wa la…there’s your post.

(Its the one night I feel more like a woman and LESS like a mom. If you're reading this- *HINT HINT* honey. ;-D)

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Thankful Thursday Blog Hop #2


To recap the rules for Thankful Thursdays, here ya go:

1. Don't follow me unless you really want to. I don't want this to be purely about getting new followers- I'd really like to see people flooding the internet with "Thankful" posts. If you'd like me to follow YOU, though, let me know.

2. Please post the button somewhere in your entry- beginning, end- doesn't matter. Not only will it help to grow the hop, but I'll be keeping a running PUBLIC list of those that are participating. Also, I'm planning on using new co-hosts for the hop in the future, and to be considered, you must have the button up. If you post the button and would like to be considered for co-host duty, send me an email @

3. You can link up blogs, facebook and twitter accounts - just be sure to specify what each link is.

4. Hop around and find blogs that you enjoy. Be sure to tell them you are following them from Thankful Thursdays Blog Hop so they can follow you back!

And #5 and most importantly, HAVE FUN.

First off, I would just like to say that- even though I haven't written a Thankful Thursday blog hop in almost a month- that doesn't mean I haven't been thankful for things. I'm thankful for a LOT of things:

~peace and quiet (or does that count as two?)
~my God given talents for cooking and baking (without it, we'd be broke and living on the streets... ok, so at least we have a home...)
~duct tape...

But I think most of all, Ive been thankful that, even when I go on a hiatus due to my mind being elsewhere, I have you- the great blog-o-sphere- to come back to.

But, this is not what I'm thankful about today.

Nope, today, I'm thankful, grateful, and thanking God above...

for baby gates.

Yes, I said it. I could have touted my love for my husband, my life, -even COFFEE!-, but no.

Baby gates.

If you have ever had a small person that likes to crawl around on all fours and disappear for great lengths of time in other rooms and come out chewing on God-knows-what, then you should understand. When one of those rooms just HAPPENS to be the bathroom where the cat box is located, well, then I REALLY hope you understand.

Baby gates give me peace of mind when my mind is going to pieces. I suppose one could argue "Why do you need baby gates when you should be watching your baby at all times?" And to that person, I say Bravo!... must be the only person on the planet who never went to the bathroom or had to make coffee while being the sole care provider.

Hey- when a gal needs coffee...

I'm just sayin'- baby gates have immeasurable value and should be put on a pedestal with other great inventions- like ice, fire, and sliced bread.

Ok, so ice and fire aren't really INVENTIONS, but you get the picture.

So, kudos to you, Mr. Graco and Mrs. First Years. The day you came up with those beauties was one small crawl for babies and one giant leap for Mommy kind.

And for that, I am thankful.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Sacred Moments

"Its moments like these that remind me why I love motherhood."

For you, maybe that statement is referring to the laughter coming from your kiddos' rooms as they play together; maybe its the smile that lights up your baby's face when he's happy...

For me?  Bedtime.

There is NOTHING that quite reminds me how WONDERFUL peace and quiet is than right after the last kid is tucked in, lights have been turned out, and all the threats of torture and maiming have been put out there (in the event that they think getting out of bed is an option) and I have peace.

Wonderful, blissful, wine guzzling -*ahem, sorry*- wine SIPPING, peace.

Now, one might think that you can achieve this peace just as easily- maybe even more so- without  the aid of children, but I disagree.

What is happiness without sadness?  How can you know what happiness actually IS unless you have something to compare it to?

Having kids is like that person who is living in a construction zone- all day long, nothing but the sounds of chaos and ruckus- and then 5 p.m. comes...

...and bliss.

Sure, they were able to zone it out after a while, but it wasn't until all the workers had gone home for the day that they understood what they had been missing all those LONG, mind numbing hours.

Having kids -boys- is a lot like that- more so, actually, because I don't get sick days, paid holidays or vacation days, so I'm in -literally IN- the construction zone day in, day out, all year long.

And, yes, boys -IMO- are worse than girls. I'm sure there are lots of people who will try and disagree with me- point out the fact that I don't have girls so how could I know?

Excuse me?  I AM a girl.  I was a tomboy, actually, so I know EXACTLY how bad it could get having a rambunctious tomboy.  I was a barbed-wire scaling, tree-climbing, dirt digging, sibling wrestling (WWF-style, thank you very much) girl...

...and my BOYS are worse.

So, when the lights are finally out, the last kiddo has closed his eyes, and I finally get my brain back, I'm able to truly give thanks.

Thank you, God, for 3 loud, obnoxious boys that were born without recognition of the term 'inside voices'.

Thank you, God, for 2 boys that -while they have superb aim in certain Wii games and other outdoor sports- cannot pee IN the toilet.

Thanks, God, for 2 boys that think fighting is a sport and practice as if it could one day land them in the Olympics.

Thanks so much, God, for reminding me with every scream, whine, argument, complaint, and fight, that silence is sacred and should be cherished because morning- the waking hours- come much too quickly.

But thank you, God, most especially, for 8:30 p.m. for, without it, I would not have the brain cells enough to even remember my name, much less, give thanks.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

I miss you

Before you read this, please understand that this isn't going to be like any of my other posts.  Its not something I write with a light heart.  Its something I need to get off my chest.

Today marks a day that will forever be burned into my brain.  2 years ago I gave birth to an amazing little boy.  From the amnio that we'd had done, we know he was perfect.  From every ultrasound we'd had, he kicked and squirmed like he was determined to be a soccer player or something.  He was, by all accounts, going to be perfect- a handful, no doubt (hey, he had 2 older brothers to imitate)- but absolutely perfect.

On July 8th, 2009, I went in for my check up.  I was 19 weeks along.  I had my boys with me.  At first he couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler.  He didn't act worried- he went and got the ultrasound machine, claiming that our baby was probably just lying in a weird way.  My doctor asked my boys if they wanted to see their little brother.

I knew something was wrong.  My little squirmer wasn't moving. 

My doctor still tried to assure me that things might be ok.  He sent me down for a better ultrasound.  I knew my boy was gone.  They told me that, from the looks of it, he stopped growing at 15 weeks along, so that's when he most likely passed.  It will always be a question in my mind if the amnio I'd opted for had been the cause- the 2 instances coincided so closely together.

After a lot of issues with insurance and what not, we ended up having to deliver my baby instead of getting the "easier" D&E.  Christopher Scott was born at 12:10 a.m. on July 10th. 

In a way, it was a good thing we had to deliver him.  I ended up getting an infection that they had to treat with antibiotics.  If we'd gone to PP to get the other procedure done, who knows what could have happened to me.  It was too hard to want to hold him after he was born- I couldn't even look- but they gave me a box with some things in it, including a picture.  I've yet to look at it, but its there.

Now that its been a couple of years, I'm doing better.  Its still hard- like when I look at Nicholas and wonder what Christopher would have been like- but I'm not a mess.

There are some things I learned after losing him that you don't fully grasp unless you're in that situation- things like, don't call someone who has just lost someone they love unless you can keep it together.  The last thing they should have to do during that time is help YOU with YOUR grief.

Also, I will NEVER say "I understand" or "Everything happens for a reason".  You never actually CAN understand since every situation is different and -even if you can give the exact reason why God allowed it to happen- no one cares when they're going through that.  I've learned that the best thing a person can say is "I'm here"- and then hold on for the ride, because its an emotional roller coaster.

I asked a friend the other day (who had gone through a similar situation) when I would ever feel completely normal, and she made a good point- this IS now my "normal".  Some days I'll feel great.  Some days I won't.  Some days I won't think about him at all- and that's ok.  Some days I'll remember that I haven't thought about him and I'll feel guilty- and that's ok, too.

I also realized that there is NO timeline for grief.  Everyone says that, but what people say and what they expect are 2 different things.  Its one thing to say you feel down or upset about losing him a month or 2 after it happens, but after a while, most people patiently (and some not so patiently) listen to you, all the while wearing a "you're not over it yet?" look on their faces and once you're finished, they ask if you've talked to someone yet.

Well, duh- YOU are someone.

Not once did I say I'm DEPRESSED or SUICIDAL.  I just said I'm feeling "DOWN" or "OFF".  I didn't ask for answers or for you to even open your mouth.  I needed to talk.  To open up.  If people need someone to vent to about their crappy bosses and horrible traffic they encountered on the way home, shouldn't I get to vent about losing my baby?  Not once would I ever listen to someone say,"Argh!  My husband is SO annoying!  He pissed me off SO bad!  He REALLY hurt my feelings!" and then come back at them with,"Have you talked to someone about how you feel?"  Tomorrow, your boss might give you a deserved raise; traffic will clear up, and your husband might apologize.  I won't see my baby until I get to Heaven.

I understand there's a reason for everything, or, more accurately,"Romans 8:28 (King James Version)
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, and are the called according to his purpose."  I look at Nicholas everyday and think about the fact that -if we'd had Christopher- Nicholas wouldn't be here.  And then the guilt comes.  I think about what the world lost when Christopher died and what the world gained when Nicholas was born.  I know God has a plan for all that has happened, and its not my job to "figure it out" but to watch it unfold.  Its not always easy to remember that- and its NOT something I wanted to hear right after we lost him- but I get that.

In the mean time, today marks a sad and special day.  It was the day I officially said,"See you later" to my baby and the day that my baby got to get his first hug from God.  Sometimes I remind myself when Camo doesn't check in on time or when Jacob rides his scooter too far out of my line of sight, I ALWAYS know where my Christopher is- he's in the safest arms of anyone I've ever known.

And I'm sure he's running around, causing everyone in Heaven to laugh, and talking their ear off.  He IS, after all, my son.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Sorry for the absence

I feel kind of bad.  I know that I've been MIA, and while I would normally just make a joke about it, I'll be honest, I'm not in a joking mood.  As of 2 years ago, the months of June and July have been a little difficult for me mentally.  Its hard to put my mind to thinking of things to write that are lighthearted when these months are a sad reminder of a loss.  I promise that I'll be back on soon with more of an explanation, but for now, I need some time.  If you stick with me through this, you're awesome.  If not, I completely understand.



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...