Confessions from Boystown: SAHM

Showing posts with label SAHM. Show all posts

Monday, August 1, 2011

Oh, so tired...

(This was SUPPOSED to be published YESTERDAY, so sorry for the delay.)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Its days like today that reading something like that really speaks to me.

If you've ever traveled Stay At Home Rd., you know how exhausting it can be. I remember working at one of those jobs where you put on grown up people clothes and you get in a car to go there; and when you got there, you'd speak to other adults! Sure, some of those adults had less commonsense than my 7 month old, but they had considerably larger vocabularies, so that almost made up for their VAST stupidity. The fact was, I had conversations with them that allowed me to flex my grey matter and practice synonyms- like dimwit, stupid, blockhead, bonehead... you get the picture.

And just as I was about to bang my head against a wall until everything was fuzzy and less complicated, it was time to go home. I'd clock out, get in my car, and head to the place where there was peace... to a degree.

And, when I got tired of home, well, you see how this goes.

Working away from home gave me a change of scenery and a change of frustrations. No matter how hard I had it one place, I was able to escape shortly.

The fact is, when you're a stay at home mom, you LIVE with your most annoying, clingy, bossy, horrible customers. There's no escaping...

(Well, there is, but we'll get back to that in another entry I think I'll title: "Running toward paradise".)

But, when you're a responsible parent, there isn't any other option but to stay and take it.

Today, I dealt with an 11 year old child that doesn't QUITE get the fact his birthday is only supposed to be ONE day.

Not 2.

Not a week.

In fact, if he would have REALLY analyzed the situation, he would have grasped the fact that he was only having a birthday because of ME, therefore, I'M the one who should have been celebrated.

But, no. My sweet, little, ungrateful, entitled newly 11 year old son thought that not only could HE fight with me, but that he would bring in his brother and 2 of his friends to back him up in certain conversations.

Did I mention, I had just baked my gorgeous, highly selfish son cupcakes for his birthday?

How dare I, though, suggest that we should do anything but what HE wanted to do.

Ok, so there was my rant.

After all that, though, I still had a ton of other items on my mile long to do list. To be perfectly honest, I was near my breaking point.

How did I get myself into this mess? WHY did I get myself into this mess? I'm just SO TIRED...

Come to me... I will give you rest.

Its funny how sometimes I'll be in a particular situation and something will jump out at me or creep into mind to remind me that I have another person that knows what exactly I'm dealing with. And, no, I'm not talking about my husband. He's probably going to be the co-writer on that other entry I'm thinking about writing.

Its nice to know that when I'm ready to give up, there's Someone who's willing to take it from me. When I'm ready to collapse, there are arms outstretched that I can collapse into that won't let me go.

Arms that will give me rest.

***If you liked my post, then PLEASE post my button!***

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Thankful Thursday Blog Hop #4

To recap the rules for Thankful Thursdays, here ya go:

1. Don't follow me unless you really want to. I don't want this to be purely about getting new followers- I'd really like to see people flooding the internet with "Thankful" posts. If you'd like me to follow YOU, though, let me know.

2. Please post the button somewhere in your entry- beginning, end- doesn't matter. Not only will it help to grow the hop, but I'll be keeping a running PUBLIC list of those that are participating. Also, I'm planning on using new co-hosts for the hop in the future, and to be considered, you must have the button up. If you post the button and would like to be considered for co-host duty, send me an email @ asoto0703@gmail.com

3. You can link up blogs, facebook and twitter accounts - just be sure to specify what each link is.

4. Hop around and find blogs that you enjoy. Be sure to tell them you are following them from Thankful Thursdays Blog Hop so they can follow you back!

And #5, and most importantly, HAVE FUN.

I'm going to have to start referring to this as Thankful Friday with how late I seem to be getting my posts up. It never seems to fail that I sit down at the computer after a long day of taking care of Baby Monkey Boy, than something else pops up for me to take care of. I'll never complain, though...

...ok, I won't complain A LOT.

I won't complain a LOT because I'm doing what I love.

Well, ONE of the things that I love. Taking care of these animals is right up there for me along with baking, cooking, and breathing.

I had always wanted to be a mom, and being a stay at home mom was a dream- not because I'm lazy (F.Y.I. if you're one of those 'uninformed' individuals, go read my post HERE), but because I was afraid. There were stories all over the place about bad day cares and bad home day cares, bad nannies, bad, bad, bad. There still are,actually. I hadn't been able to be a stay at home mom with Camo, but I was determined to do it with Jacob. Luckily for me, my amazing hubby felt the same way.

We knew it wasn't going to be easy- mentally or financially. The funny thing is, though, when you REALLY want something in this life, you usually find a way to get it. When you're strapped for cash but you know your electric bill is due, you find a way to pay it... if you aren't fond of camping. We wanted to know who was raising our kids and what kind of values they were being raised with, so regardless of what else it cost us, we made the necessary sacrifices to do it.

I know that there are lots of people out there that feel the same way I do, but they aren't able to find a way to make it work, so that's why I'm thankful. Whether its because all the stars aligned JUST SO and that's why we found a way (doubt it) or because God just really thinks that this is what my family needs for our boys right now (more like it), I get to do something that has a special purpose in this life.

How many other people can say that?

And, while there are more than a few days that leave me breathless in a bad way, there are also days that leave me breathless in a good way too.

So, today I'm thankful.

For an amazing hubby that felt the way I did enough to let me do this.

For 3 amazing kids that look to ME to take care of them every day.

And for all those breathless moments that make being a stay at home mom worth it.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

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I do my best thinking in the shower.

Now, I'm sure there are many medical reasons why this is possible- maybe the warm water increases circulation or the water pressure from the shower head helps knead out the stress from my shoulders, which lowers my blood pressure and THAT helps with better circulation.

I personally think, though that it has nothing to do with medical reasons and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that its the ONE place in this house where I can hear myself think without fear of interruption. With the water raining down on me, it drowns out the incessant pestering. For the 5 minutes I get to take for myself, I get a chance to recoop and relax.

Yes, 5 minutes. I learned long ago how to take "Army showers". 5 minutes is the perfect amount of time to get the necessary stuff done while ensuring I'm not gone long enough for fires, explosions, or massive bodily harm to occur with the boys.

It IS long enough, however, to get some serious thinking done, and today I was thinking about my life.

Its amazing to me how we measure ourselves by what we are rather than who we are as individuals. People in our lives- not our personalities- usually define us. I get it- its difficult to really find a distinction

I have kids- I'm a mom.
I have a husband- I'm a wife

We even measure ourselves by what and who we are NOT. In my case, I'm not a career driven woman- I'm a stay at home mom. I'm not like my brother and sister, with their medical field goals- I'm...

What? Lacking a true career path? Lazy? Without ambition? Settling? Ordinary?

During those precious 5 minutes, I thought about who I really was- not according to others or labels thrust upon me- but ME. What makes me, me?

I'm outgoing.
I'm sarcastic.
I'm a wanna-be chef.
I'm goofy.
I'm friendly.
I'm a neat freak.
I'm determined.
I'm sensitive.

Its true- I'm also ordinary. My job is SO ordinary and boring that -not only do I NOT get paid for it- but most people don't even want to waste time writing it out, so they write SAHM. Its not considered a career choice; its an in-between- something you do when you're in between jobs.

I'm called a "housewife" which -horror of horrors- evokes images of Peggy Bundy, sitting on a couch, eating Bon Bons. Even worse, that's what MANY people imagine when I tell them what I do for a living. I'm curious about the title "housewife", by the way. No one ever refers to a woman as a "workwife". Its funny- even as I'm writing this, my computer recognizes "housewife" as a real word and there's a red squiggly line under "workwife".

I'm asked frequently when I'm planning on "going back to work", as if I'm on vacation. If this is vacation, I've been gypped.

I'm just sayin'.

I'm also told constantly about work at home opportunities- because I'm OBVIOUSLY not busy throughout the day. I get it, times are hard and they know I'm not getting paid for what I do, but when I WAS working, we managed to still have money troubles, so what it looks like to me is that #1- you always find a way to do what you REALLY want to do, #2- a lot of money does NOT equal financial security, and #3- God apparently thinks pretty highly of our decision to have me stay at home because He always makes a way for us to get by.

Its true- I'm an ordinary, SAHM and housewife. Just so we're clear on what my "non-job" entails, though: