Versatile Blogger Award

Ok, so I FINALLY have gotten around to posting this- and I hope my lack of posting it sooner doesn't come off as me not being excited about it, because I totally am.

THANK YOU, Tracey @dontmesswithmama.com, for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award!

This is my first ever award for my writing and I feel special to have gotten nominated by someone who writes so well herself!  When you get a chance, pop on over to her blog and check her out- you won't be disappointed.

As part of the award, I need to need to tell you all 7 things about me, and award 15 new bloggers and let them know they’ve received the award.  So, here it goes!

7 things 'bout 'lil 'ol me
1.  I'm a Christian and I try to write so that no one would ever look at my writing and question that.
2.  I LOVE writing.  Besides my husband, writing keeps me sane (to a degree.  Oh, come on- if you've read me before, you know I'm a nut, regardless of whether I get my thoughts out or not).
3.  I love coffee more than a normal person should.  I mean, truly LOVE coffee.  I think I might possibly marry Juan Valdez or the CEO of Folgers if given the chance JUST to have access to their coffee stash.
4.  I have the heart of a traveler with the pockets of a homebody.  The combo is frustrating- especially when I watch the FoodNetwork and see some of the places they go.
5.  I love cooking and baking, and when I grow up, I'd like to get paid doing what I love to do.  Hmm- I sound like one of those Le Cordon Blu school commercials.
6.  Almost every night I read to my kids.  I have great memories of my dad reading to my sibs and I when we were younger, and I want that for my boys.
7.  I'm outgoing for the most part.  I have my moments where I'll shrink into the woodwork, but -in most situations- I'm the zany one, talking up anyone who'll listen.

(drum roll please...)

And my nominees for the Versatile Blogger award are:
1.  Wyoming Girl *turned* Coastie Wife
2.  Our Banana Moments
3.  One Practical Woman
4.  Full of It
5.  Surviving Motherhood
6.  My Sweet Potato 3
7.  Just Another Mommy Blog
8.  Sacred and Profane
9.  Musings of Motherhood
10.  Mom in rome
11.  My Dishwasher's Possessed
12.  bUiLdInG a NeW hIvE!
13.  Vinobaby's Voice
14.  Skinny Bean
15.  Kirsten's Random Utterances

 (Leaving a link to me would be cool, btw.)

I hope you'll all check these awesome bloggers out and find them as enjoyable as I do. 

So, get to it- read on!  And, thanks again, Tracey!

You, too, can raise an Einstein!

I fell into the trap.

You know the one- “Act now and you, too, can teach your baby to read by hooking them on phonics by the time they're 2!”

In my defense, I didn't buy the program with this kiddo. No. With THIS child, I'm a little older, a little wiser, and a little poorer.

Nope, I bought the entire $5,000,000 system when Cameron was a baby. I had dreams of him lying there, in his crib, reading Nietzsche, Poe, Mark Twain...

Or, at least, Dr. Suess.

They made it seem SO easy. “All you have to do is slip a flash card under his sippy cup with his morning cereal every day and you, too, can have your baby reading 'War and Peace' in NO time!”

So, I gave it a go.

The problem is that they didn't ever stress HOW MANY sippy cups I'd have to slip flash cards under. At this rate, I'd have to give him 50 sippy cups with every meal. He would HAVE to lie in bed reading- he'd be too full of liquids to slosh anywhere else. And I wasn't going to have a life outside of that first bright yellow box- was I really ready to do that?

Luckily, Cameron was one of those kids that just happened to absorb the material through the box.

Ok, so it wasn't that.

In any case, the ultra expensive system sat in our closet, and the “free” backpack we got with our order was the only thing put to use with our first child.

With Jacob, I knew things could be different. With him, we could finally see what heights his intelligence could take by using the reading program. With him, we could FINALLY unwrap more than just the flash cards! With him, we could show up all our friends babies with a child that could read Shakespeare at 2!

Of course, first we'd have to find it in our storage.

Ok, so maybe it wasn't going to happen with our second child.

But we've got another chance at toddler brilliance with Nicholas. And don't they say that reading comes easier with kids that know a second language? And don't we have that sign language program around here somewhere?

Why stop at reading? Why, if we REALLY work at it, we can have a child that reads AND knows 2 languages before his first birthday...

Lists, lists, and...cookies???

Why is it we always have the most amount of stuff to do on the days when we have the least amount of time?

I keep wondering this today as I get ready to add yet another item to my 'to do' list; meanwhile, I'm still knee deep in items I've yet to cross off.

I'll admit, a lot of it is of my own doing. I always joke around that cleaning up after my kiddos is a lot like trying to nail Jell-o to a tree- pointless and impossible- but every day, I find myself stressing out over the laundry, the dishes, the crumbs that seem to multiply before my eyes on the counter...

And I'm not positive, but I BELIEVE that the toys have all called in reinforcements.

It just seems like its a never-ending job.

Oh.

Yeah.

It is.

When I add in all the other things- the eye/doctor appointments to schedule, the play dates that keep me and Jacob sane, the cooking (no matter how much I love cooking, its still one more thing)- looking at my list is a lot like standing at the bottom of the Empire State building and trying to see the top.

And yet...

And yet I keep adding to it. Today I chose to make cookies in addition to my list of “musts”. Why? Well, I thought that if I was going to die from stress, cookies might be a nice accompaniment. Because, if Mary Poppins has taught me nothing its that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down- as well as the stress.

Not to mention, they taste good.

Warm, tasty, chewy stress relievers.

Thank you, Mary, for your flash of brilliance. Sugar- especially in cookie form- really DOES help you deal with the less sweet parts of life.

Queen of Coupons, I am not

Last night I was watching a show on Extreme Couponing and I was completely enthralled.

These people were able to walk up to the check out lanes with over $1000 worth of groceries and walk away spending somewhere around $.06 or less.

Much like with food and weight gain, anytime I walk into a grocery store, I'm pretty sure they charge me $100 immediately just for LOOKING at the food. The idea of couponing seems like a great idea, but I question how great of an idea it would be for ME- especially since, when I saw the extreme couponers (ECs, if you will) walking around with briefcases full of coupons, my immediate thought was, “Ooo, and I could get a pink one! Maybe Coach makes one I could buy with all my savings!”

Yeah, wouldn't work for me.

Its a lot like how I am with dieting. I lose 3 pounds and I think to myself, “Awesome! Now I can eat that whole cheesecake!” Or worse, I go walking for a half an hour, don't even weigh myself, and think, “Ya know, I should reward myself for my effort.” And off I go to buy a pint of Ben and Jerry's.

I'd really like the benefit of using coupons, but I'm just not that dedicated to the cause. Every time I heard one of the ECs say how long they would spend clipping coupons and getting ready to go on their shopping trips, all I could think of was, “I'm tired just from listening to this- I need a break”, and off I would go to make a cup of coffee and relax.

Shouldn't I get brownie points for WANTING to save money?

I know I sound naïve, shallow, what have you, but I'm not. The idea of being able to spend -$50 on 10 carts of groceries sounds amazing, but it also sounds exhausting because at the end of the day, I would have to do that shopping trip with a 10 year old, a 4 year old, and a 4 month old. While trying to figure out how many tubes of toothpaste I have to buy to save $7, I would end up hearing why my 10 year old wants one he saw on TV and my 4 year old wants the one with Thomas the Train on it- neither of which, I'm sure, would give me bonus bucks or whatever. While trying to get the necessary amounts of Gatorade to save $1000, I would have to listen to my 10 year old tell me that he doesn't like Gatorade, he likes Powerade, and my 4 year old would be asking me for Twizzlers... because he saw them as we shopped in the candy aisle when I went to buy the 1000 packs of gum to save $2000 off my purchase, but I wouldn't buy them for him because it might cause my shopping trip to equal out to $.05 when I didn't bring a nickel with me...

I'm getting tired just writing this.

In the end, couponing to save money for MY family wouldn't work BECAUSE of MY family.

Or maybe I'm against it because I'm lazy.

Yeah, there's always that.

The things we say...

You know you're a mom when you find yourself saying things like, “You need to stop killing your brother” while on the phone with Sprint and it doesn't hit you that maybe -just MAYBE- you might need to explain. Not once does it cross your mind that the nice person on the other end of the line has all your vital info and if you don't follow up your statement with “on that video game”, they might easily send the proper authorities to knock down your door.

Is it just me, or has any other mom found themselves saying things they never thought would come out of their mouths now that they have kids? And I'm not just talking about hearing things your parents said to you come from a voice that sounds stunningly like your own. No, I'm talking about those times that you feel the need to say in a very stern voice in the canned vegetable aisle, “Grabbing yourself and shrieking is NOT appropriate here.” Or “Why must you poke monkeys with sticks?”... by the way, that did not occur at a zoo.

I've learned that its just a part of life- well, MY life, anyways- to hear myself say, “It is NEVER ok to ACTUALLY hang your baby brother up by his toes.”

Mental note- I need to watch my threats.

I'm starting to fear that its only a matter of time until CPS comes a'callin', and would I really blame them? The last time I was on hold with my son's school, it wasn't until AFTER they had picked up that I realized the operator had just heard me tell my 4 year old, “No, cats do NOT like peanut butter and jelly, and kids should not eat cat food, so no sharing.” Maybe THAT'S why we quickly became qualified for the reduced lunch program...

Ignorance is Paradise

THUD!

I sat, Indian style, on the dryer in the laundry room. The warmth of the room; the pleasant smell of Bounce fabric softener; and the gentle vibration of the dryer was ALMOST enough to convince me that I was on a small island far, FAR away.

BANG!

I groped for my mug of coffee- GROPED, because the light was off. The only illumination was a small stream peeking out from under the door, but this was enough to allow me to see my mug sitting between a box (dryer sheets) and a jug (detergent, most likely). I grabbed the cup and took a sip.

CRASH!

Whatever was going on out there, I chose ignorance and bliss over information and stress. In a house full of boys, moments like these- even stolen ones that occur in a darkened laundry room- are hard to come by. Sure, at some point I would have to come out and face the destruction. Chances are, if it was anything like every other day, there would be a fort encompassing the living room; blocks on the kitchen floor with race cars throughout; papers, pens, pencils, and crayons strewn all over the dining room table; and all of it being neglected while one or both of the older boys stands on the couch ready to do a pile-driver to their brother.

Given the fact that I already had a rough idea of what was awaiting me, I sat there and sipped my coffee in peace. I couldn't help but feel thankful that my husband bought me a coffee mug that was insulated and would keep my coffee hot for 2 hours or more. If I drank slowly, I could draw out this quiet time until...

“MOM!”

Oh well. There goes the island.

Catching a Parasite

Today was just another day in the neighborhood.  I tried to clean- useless.  Tried to be a parent- difficult.  Tried to relax- ridiculous.  Yep, just another day in the neighborhood.

Well, if you don't count the head cold that decided to move into my body for a while.

Ya know, its funny how we take precautions- sometimes over precautions- to keep from getting sick; to keep from catching a “bug”. We take vitamin C, drink lots of fluids, eat chicken soup... they've even come up with sayings like, “Starve a fever, feed a cold”, in an effort to drive home how to get rid of the sickness. People say things like, “Get well soon” and “Hope you're back to your old self again soon”, because that's what we do- we say things to try and make the person feel better.

Its funny because, if you REALLY think about it, kids are parasites. Only, to make matters worse, instead of taking precautions to keep away, some people go through great lengths to obtain one.  At the risk of driving people away from ever reading my thoughts again, just go with me on this one.

I'll take myself, for example. When I got pregnant with my first son, I was young and Corey and I weren't married yet. A lot of people chose to congratulate us on the upcoming birth of our baby boy. I think its kind of funny, though, that one particular family member of mine sent us a card that said “Get well soon”. Now, given, I think she was a little out of sorts, but maybe it was my fiance and I who were not right in the head to be as excited as we were. Maybe she knew what we were up against?

Flash forward 6 years. Corey and I were now married and trying to get pregnant with our second child. Instead of heeding the unintended advice of my family member, I was actively trying to get as close to my pregnant friends as possible- as if I could “catch” a baby.

We now have 3 boys, and as much as I love them, I can't help but smile when I hear things like this on TV:

(From the show 'House')Dr. House: "Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites..."

So true, Dr. So very true. Or, my latest favorite, which I saw last night on Grey's Anatomy, spoken by Cristina Yang: “Its small features and oversized thighs trigger a hormonal response from humans. It's autonomic. It's what keeps us from eating them.”

I couldn't have said it better myself.