Peace in Fear

1 decade.

That's how long its been.

10 years since every American's life was changed immensely and forever.

240 months ago, we all woke up with the given that any day could be our last, but there were a couple of other "givens" we had originally woken up with:

• America is generally a safe country.  Wars occur in places like Iraq- we only see those kinds of riots after the Lakers lose... or win.
• Planes don't crash into buildings.  In fact, if you were to ask anyone, they'd tell you that flying is safer than driving.

But on the morning of September 11, 2001, all of our "givens"- every ignorant assumption we'd held near and dear- were tossed aside.  Suddenly, our world was never going to be the same.  Our kids and future kids would never know a world where flying didn't include the possible threat of terrorism; where they didn't know at least one person who was heading off to war or had just come back; where there was a 'Twin Towers'.

My oldest was 1 and 1/2 at the time, and I'll never forget holding him, thinking "What a horrible accident!" and then watching as the second plane slammed into the second tower.  I'll never forget wondering what kind of life he had ahead of him.

I'll never forget church that Sunday.  It was packed to the brim with people hoping for answers- looking for hope itself.  Flags were bought by the dozen and flown in every doorway.  Candles were lit for the fallen.  People sang songs of unity and tolerance and spoke of how we needed to come together, throwing around the phrase "God Bless America".

760 weeks later, most of those thoughts have faded.  Flags might still fly, but candles are no longer lit.  Many who fled to church right after the attack, soon gave God a nice pat on the back with a "Thanks for being there when I freaked- see you at Christmas."  Unity and tolerance were nice ideas until you fit a certain profile or pissed someone off; and "God Bless America" soon became the "Have a nice day" of this generation- which strikes me as odd since "under God" in the pledge of allegiance still offends some people.

In the end, the only REAL thing that has stuck around all these years later is fear.  It happened once, could it happen again?  Where's Bin Laden and what's he planning?  Now we're at war- what now?  Oh, now we've found Bin Laden and he's dead... wait, what about zealots for his cause?

So, with so much fear in abundance, what does God's word have to say about it?

"So, do not fear, for I am with you." Isaiah 41:16
"In God, whose word I praise- in God I trust and am not afraid.  What can mere mortals do to me?" Psalm 56:4
"For in the day of trouble, he will keep me safe in his dwelling." Psalm 27:5

When we're afraid, he doesn't turn his back- he opens his arms.  He reminds us that -as it was stated so eloquently in Veggietales- "God is bigger than the boogie man."  God gave man free will, so there's never going to be World Peace- mankind is prone to sin- but when things go bad, God gives us himself.  No matter what we've faced, are facing, or will face, God is always true to his word and he's said that he's with us.  He's been there everyday for the last 5320 days- whether we've noticed or not- listening for when we call on him, and he'll continue to be there everyday, waiting on that 1 day when we're afraid and need him.

God is bigger than the boogie man.

So, what's to fear?

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Take 3

When I was in high school, I had a specific view of what my life would look like:  somehow I would be both a stay at home mom and yet have a very successful career in some chosen profession (it all depended on how I felt that particular day); I'd be married to the man of my dreams; we'd have a little white house with a little white picket fence; there would be a big oak tree in the yard and on it would be a tire swing; sitting on the front porch would be our lazy family dog; and playing out in the back yard were our 2 kids- a boy (oldest) and girl.  Sometimes there would be a third child in this dream, but its gender never really mattered.

I've now been out of high school for 12 years, and my reality is just a tad different from my dream.

I went to college to get my "very successful career", but after graduating, I realized it wasn't quite the field for me.  I also realized that I was pregnant and my boyfriend and I weren't married.  After running up some credit card bills, our credit took a nosedive, so the possibility of getting the "little white house with the little white picket fence" wasn't in the cards, and there aren't many apartment complexes with big oak trees right out your front door, so there went that picture, along with the tire swing; and since most apartment complexes either don't allow pets or else they're too small for them, we ended up with a lazy cat instead.  And the kids?  I now have 3 boys- all male.

In fact, the only part of my dream that came true was marrying the man of my dreams.  I know- its a mushy statement.  Well, I'm a girl- I'm allowed to be mushy.  Heck, in a household full of males (our cat is a boy- even our fishes have boy names!), its my God given right- no RESPONSIBILITY- to be as girly as possible.

You'd think that I'd be disappointed that not all of my dreams came true, but God never promised me that life would be like Disneyland- where all your dreams come true.  And, honestly, I wouldn't change a thing.

Well- right now.  Ask me if I would toward the end of the day when I'm watching the clock, waiting for the boys' bedtime,  and wishing I could have a glass of wine.

So, why 'Take 3'?  Well, for an obvious reason- my youngest was born on Dec. 30th.  3rd child.  3rd. boy.  3rd chance to get the 'Mommy of the Year' award...  You'd think that wouldn't be so hard, but apparently they have really high standards for the definition of 'Mommy of the Year'.  I've heard they frown on some of the things I do as a mom, but I'm still crossing my fingers.

This is also my 3rd chance to get back the body I had in high school.  Of course, there's the very real possibility that the only way that'll happen is through extensive plastic surgery, but I always was a sucker for lost causes.  I think, though, that if I put it out there into the ether that I'm on a mission to shed the "baby weight", that maybe I'll become a MILTSDAHCW ('Mom I'd like to sit down and have coffee with'- what?  You've never heard of that one?) by Christmas.  We'll see.